The Wrong Side
by Corvus corone
Summary: Youichi and his girlfriend have wandered into a rather spooky part of town. Persona and Natsume make cameo appearances, and Youichi and Mikan wonder if they're really right for each other. Melonbeauty universe. Youichi/Mikan, very stupid, crack, humour.


_**IMPORTANT NOTE:** This fic is set in the Melonbeautyverse. Although this makes sense as a standalone oneshot, it is recommended that you read **"A Good Ol' Walk In The Park"**, the prequel to this ficlet, first. There are also a few small references to events and characters in "Bad Sushi and Frrench Girls".  
_

_(For a more complete Melonbeautyverse experience - in which case you will then be able to understand 100 percent the references made to other fics in this one - please read the two parody How To Write leaflets as well.)_

_Persona is OOC - well, as OOC as he was in Bad Sushi, so I claiming this as continuity. :P. I apologise.  
_

XXX

**The Wrong Side.**

_For teh-crazeh-one_

XXX

Youichi should have been ecstatic right now, but he wasn't. He wasn't quite sure why this was the case, but there it was. Even though he had the perfect girlfriend and the perfect life - well, as perfect as you could get from living in Alice Academy - he just wasn't happy with it.

Not even the thought of that major event last week, his first kiss, seemed to cheer him. On the contrary, it seemed to worry him even more. After all, he had been fine before that day. Maybe that had something to do with it?

Actually, thinking of that day made him feel a little queasy, thanks to the memories of a hideously drunk Natsume as well as Mikan's unbearable friend, Melonbeauty. Youichi shuddered. It was probably better to forget all about it, but then again-

"No! I don't want a carrot!" cried Mikan. Youichi jumped.

"What?"

"This guy keeps trying to offer me carrots!" said Mikan, pointing an accusing finger at a confused looking young man.

"Really?" said Youichi, looking at him. The man shrugged and tried to look innocent. "Mikan, are you sure you're not just a bit confused?"

"No! I'm totally sure!" She gestured frantically at the man. "Youiiiiichi, why don't you believe me?"

Youichi sighed. Sometimes Mikan was a little hard to live with. "What did he say?"

"Something about carrots." She put her hands on her hips and tried to look angry.

"I didn't say anything of the sort," said the man to Youichi. He gave them another innocent shrug. Youichi closed his eyes, opened them again after a few moments, and then led Mikan off by the hand. He waved goodbye to the man.

"What was that for?" said Mikan with indignation once she had been dragged a few hundred yards. "It's true - he kept saying, 'Have a carrot, have a carrot,' and I didn't know what to do."

"That's ... random," said Youichi. Try as he might, he just couldn't get excited like Mikan could. Then again, no-one else could either.

Mikan gasped. "Maybe it's a code word!"

"... for what?"

"I don't know! Do you know where we are?"

Youichi looked around. They seemed to have wandered into a rather strange part of town - surely this place wasn't meant to look spooky, dark and utterly terrifying? A few crows swooped overhead, cawing, and startled Mikan.

"Yo-chan... this place is so spooky and dark and terrifying... why is there that spooky music playing?"

"My thoughts exactly," said Youichi without a hint of sarcasm. Mikan couldn't really tell, anyway, so it didn't really matter.

"Why are we here?"

"Carrot guy," Youichi reminded Mikan.

"Oh. Can we go now? This place is so freaky."

And indeed it was. Not even the Dangerous Ability class missions had ever been this scary. (In fact, they were usually the opposite. Ever since their "teacher", Persona, had started his relationship with Luca Nogi's mother, the missions had become a bit of joke. Youichi did enjoy the free sushi that seemed to come with them though.)

"Yo-chan? Are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" Youichi snapped out of his sushi-filled daydream. "Oh right. Yeah. This place is weird. Do you remember how we got here?"

Mikan shook her head sadly. "You were leading us…"

Damn.

XXX

"Yo-chan, you've got some bird poop in your hair," Mikan said.

"Yuk. Where's the map?"

"What map?"

Youichi slapped his forehead. He distinctly remembered giving a map of the cy to Mikan to hold while he did up his shoelaces (and presumably got pooped on by one of those ever-cawing crows), and he told her so.

Mikan was a little offended. "Maybe your memory's just rubbish! I would definitely remember you giving me a map! _Especially_ if it had a chance to get us out of this place!"

XXX

"What's wrong with you and I together?" Mikan said suddenly.

"What?"

"Why aren't you happy to be with me?"

"I am!"

"Really?"

"Yes! Now stop talking so I can try and find our way out of here!"

Telling Mikan to stop talking was like telling water not to be wet.

"I hate those skeleton decorations."

Youichi actually had not noticed those skeleton decorations. He did not like them either, and mentally blamed Mikan for drawing his attention towards them.

"Yooooo-chan? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because," he said through gritted teeth, "I want to get out of here, and I can't concentrate on remembering these streets-"

"Scary alleyways," Mikan interjected.

"-scary alleyways, with you constantly chattering!"

Mikan was silent for a little while. Then she said, "I'm just trying to make conversation so that we won't be scared by all those skulls above us!"

Youichi looked up to see what she was talking about and immediately wished he hadn't. As much as he loved his faithful ghosts, he did not like skeletons and skulls in the least bit.

"Ugh," he said aloud.

"Anyway! Like I said, Yo-chan, what's wrong with us together? Last week it was all fine! But now it's like you don't even want me to be here."

Youichi looked at the now very distressed Mikan. "Don't be silly," he said shortly.

XXX

Youichi didn't know what was wrong with them together. He did like Mikan a awful lot. Didn't he?

Yes, of course he did. They had kissed and everything. Duh.

(Don'tthinkofhideouslydrunkNatsumeandMelonbeauty, said his brain.)

Perhaps it was simply this horrible atmosphere of this horrible place that was getting to him. The sooner they got out, the better. He only wished that Mikan hadn't lost the map.

XXX

Mikan was thinking along the same lines as Youichi, with the added worry of being arrested for paedophilia (after all, Youichi was still only fourteen years old) and whether Natsume would be discharged from hospital anytime soon. Mikan was not sure what to hope from that – on one hand, she did want Natsume to be okay, but then again, if it led to another public fight…

She screwed up her eyes and shook her head. Now was not the time to think about Natsume!

Back to Youichi. She did like him very, very much. Maybe not in the same 'cutey-pie wugglecream peachysweet' way that she had liked Natsume, but she liked Youichi all the same. He was cute, and nice-in-a-grouchy-way, and she did enjoy being with him… well, she had enjoyed being with him up until their first kiss. Then things seemed to have gone downhill. Mikan almost got the feeling that Youchi was _bored_ whenever he was with her. That couldn't be true, could it?

Of course not!

XXX

"Youichi, there's a weird guy following us," said Mikan, clutching his arm.

Youichi looked around for this weird guy, and saw a shadow behind him move. "Over there?" he said.

"Yes…"

"How long has he been there?"

"Um, about ten minutes? I don't like this place…"

"Yes, I know," Youichi said impatiently. "Walk faster. I'll get some ghosts to chase him away."

Mikan obediently walked a little faster. A small swarm of ghosts, directed by Youichi, rushed towards the man in the shadows and started trying to scare him. It didn't seem to be working.

"I don't think he looks scared," Mikan said, stopping.

"Tell me something I don't know," muttered Youichi, trying to pull her forwards.

"That guy looks like that really hot night janitor who cleans the windows!" exclaimed Mikan suddenly.

"What?" said Youichi, turning back to squint at the man. Right now, he seemed to be trying to make friends with Youichi's 'evil' spirits.

"That weird guy! Don't you think he looks like what's-his-name, Persona?"

Youichi scratched his head, and called back the so-called 'evil' spirits (who were currently not being evil rather than cute and friendly). "Yeah, he does," he said finally. "But his hair looks different. D'you want to go and see?"

"Okay!" said Mikan happily. She started skipping back the way they had come, and only stopped when Youichi caught her hand and made her.

She rather liked Persona. After his stint as the window-cleaning janitor, Mikan had always had a soft spot for him – even when he wore his freaky mask and got his hair freakily coloured by his new girlfriend, Rina.

"I wish I was Luca's mum," Mikan said out loud.

There was a silence. "Come again?" said Youichi after a while.

"She's going out with Trhnjwctw!" said Mikan in an explanatory tone.

"_You're_ going out with _me_," Youichi reminded her.

"Oh yeah," she said. "Don't worry, I still love you." She gave him a reassuring shoulder-hug.

"Persona?" said Youichi incredulously as they came closer, and saw that it was most definitely without a doubt the Dangerous Abilities' teacher – with a rather unusual hair colour. "What are you doing here?"

Persona jumped. "Oh, they were _your_ evil spirits?" he said to Youichi. "I was wondering whose they were."

"What?" Youichi was momentarily dumbfounded; luckily, Mikan was always ready to say something.

"So why _are_ you here?" she said.

Persona looked a little uncomfortable, although it was hard to tell under the strange blank mask. "Actually… I was selling, er, carrots, but Rina doesn't approve."

"Of carrots?" said Youichi and Mikan together.

"It's a code-name," explained Persona after looking up and down the street, presumably for any eavesdroppers. Mikan beamed, looking triumphant, and poked an "I-told-you-so" finger into Youichi's shoulder. Youichi was still a bit confused.

"For what?" he said.

"Er…"

"What?" Youichi repeated. Some small part of his mind reminded him that it was not a good idea to interrogate teachers. But then again, Persona had lost many of his intimidating teacher-y qualities by first getting that janitor job, and secondly by dying his hair pink.

Although that may not have been his fault. Youichi decided it might be a helpful detail to point out to Persona. After all, he was still wearing his usual black lipstick, so maybe he hadn't realised.

"Your hair's pink," he said bluntly.

As he had half expected, Persona looked rather taken aback and immediately pulled out a small hand-mirror to check his appearance. Then he looked even more taken aback.

"Rina must have done that when I was sleeping!" he said furiously. "That woman always-"

"I think it looks really cool," said Mikan with admiration. "I would _love_ hair like that!"

"Really?" said Persona, sounding less furious and more surprised. "Well, I suppose it isn't _that_ bad…"

"Can you repeat that statement so I can argue?" said Youichi. He still stuck to his original opinion that pink was a gauche, callow and puerile colour.

"I think it's a lovely colour," said Mikan, nudging Youichi. "Do you think Madame LaPomme would colour my hair like that if I asked her?"

"I thought you two were like best friends," grumbled Youichi. "Mikan, I utterly forbid you to get pink hair. It'll just be embarrassing for me."

"You're so _boring_!" cried Mikan, looking upset. "Rui lets Melonbeauty dye her hair…"

"So what're carrots code for then?" said Youichi to Persona.

"Drugs," said Persona simply.

Youichi stared. So did Mikan. Of all the things that Trhnjwctw was doing… _drugs_!? It was just too shocking. No wonder Rina didn't approve!

"…why?! And _how_?!" stuttered Youichi after a few moments of shocked silence had gone by.

"Oh, not real drugs," said Persona, waving a hand as if to brush off Youichi's comments. "I just need to give that impression."

"Huh?" Mikan said.

"I don't get it," Youichi said.

Persona glared at them, hard as it was to tell through the narrow eye-slits of the mask. "This is Top Secret information! If you two do anything, _anything_ to ruin this plan, you can assume that you're going straight into the Cage."

"Cage?" said Mikan.

"What we rescued Nattie's sister from ten years ago," Youichi explained to Mikan. "What's the Top Secret info, then?" he said to Persona.

Persona, again, glared. "A mission for the Academy," he said. "The authorities believe it necessary to infiltrate the gangs in this part of town, hence my placement here."

"Right," said Youichi sceptically. "I'm sure you, ah, fit _right_ in. The pink hair, mask, lipstick and stiletto boots don't make you stand out _at all_."

"Don't be rude, Yo-chan!" said Mikan. She pushed him. "I'm sure Janitor-sensei knows exactly what he's doing. Don't you?"

"Of course," said Persona, nodding smugly.

"Of course," said Youichi, still sounding sceptically. "Well, Mikan and I have to be on our way…"

"We do?" interrupted Mikan.

"Yes, we do," said Youichi, elbowing her shoulder. "So, ah, we'll be leaving you to your mission then…"

"Bye!" called Mikan attempting to wave as she was dragged away.

XXX

"Yo-chan, what was that for?" said Mikan indignantly. "We were having a nice chat with Persona!"

"No we weren't," muttered Youichi. Why did he always get the feeling that _he_ was the older one in this relationship?

"Why are you always so rude?" she cried, crossing her arms. "You're – you're just like Natsume!"

Youichi was slightly shocked by this pronouncement. "What?" he said.

"You two are as rude and as mean as each other!"

The only recent memory Youichi had of Natsume was of a drunk barbarian lunatic brawling with him in the park.

"No I'm not," he said automatically.

"Hmph." Mikan sat down on a step, fuming. Youichi paused, uncertain, and sat down beside her. She turned away.

"Mikan-"

"Who's that?" she said, her eyes fixed on something quite a way past Youichi's head.

He turned around. "God, is that... Persona _again_?" No-one else in this place could have the same fluorescent pink hair and bone-white mask that Persona did today... but then again, thought Youichi hopefully, this was quite a weird part of town.

"We should have asked Persona for a map," said Youichi aloud.

"Good idea!" said Mikan, rushing forward to greet Persona again. Youichi sighed. Not the way he had planned that to go...

"Why are you hanging around us?" he said brusquely as Mikan greeted Persona (or Janitor, or Jani-chan, or Trhnjwctw) rather more energetically.

"I'm not hanging around!" Persona said. He made an innocent-looking hand gesture.

"Waving your hands in the air is not innocent-looking," Youichi said. "Mikan, stop hugging him. He's a drug dealer."

"It's a cover!" snapped Persona at the same time as Mikan said, "Carrots!"

"Whatever. Seriously, though, d'you know how to get out of here?" he asked Persona.

"Are you lost?" asked Persona, sounding gleeful.

"Yes!" retorted Youichi. "And don't make fun of me!"

"Have it your way then," Persona said. He seemed a little put-out. "Well, if you carry on walking straight forward until the end of this street, turn left, second right, twenty-fourth left, first right and then straight down that street again, you'll reach the Academy."

"...wha?" Youichi was pretty sure that this was a lot more complicated – and a lot longer – than the accidental route he and Mikan had used to get into this place.

"I don't get it," Mikan mumbled.

"Trust me," said Persona. Youichi didn't look too convinced, so he continued, "Getting in is easy. But you can't get out the same way. Did you notice you were going in circles?"

"I told you so!" said Mikan to Youichi.

"Whatever. What's the route again?"

"We could just wait until Persona finishes his duty here and then go back with him," suggested Mikan.

"No," said Youichi. "We're going now. _Now_."

"Come ooooon! Why can't we stay a while?"

"Because... because it's creepy. You said so earlier!"

Persona sniggered. Mikan patted Youichi's arm and gave him a half-hug. "But... Persona's here... and don't be silly! It's a perfectly nice place! ... if you ignore the skulls and dripping cobwebs and stuff..."

"Exactly! Like you said before! Look, let's just go, okay?"

"But-"

The argument was cut short by a sudden "weeeeeeeaaaAAARGH!" somewhere overhead, followed by an earth-shattering crash next to Youichi. Persona dropped his bag of "carrots" in surprise. Mikan screamed.

"Mikan, shut up," said Youichi almost like a reflex. But she continued anyway.

"-EEEEEEEEEOMIGOSH! Nattie?!?"

Youichi whirled round to look at the lump. "Natsume?"

"....owwww..." moaned the lump.

"What's wrong?" said Mikan, rushing over and crouching beside him.

"He just jumped off a building – that's what's wrong!" said Youichi, poking the Nattie-lump with a foot.

"What's that in his hand?" Persona said, looking at Natsume with some interest.

Mikan had managed to roll Natsume onto his back, and there was a gleam of metal clearly visible in his hand.

"Don't tell me that's a knife," said Youichi wearily. Mikan did so anyway.

"....grrrr..." said Natsume, possibly attempting to sound scary but instead failing quite miserably.

"What the hell are you doing with that?" said Youichi, kicking it out of his hand. Mikan could only look on in shock. (Persona was also looking on, although he seemed more amused than shocked.)

"Natsume... you can't still be jealous that I'm going out with Youichi, can you?"

"Yes I fucking am!" growled the lump, trying to grab the knife.

"Were you trying to stab me or something?" said Youichi, picking up the knife. Natsume missed the knife and slapped his leg instead.

"Nattie-chan..." said Mikan. She trailed off into stunned silence. "You're crazy!"

"Am not," said Natsume.

"Are you hurt? Can you get up? Did you break a leg?" Mikan said with worry. "Should I call an ambulance?"

"... leg hurts like fucking shit," mumbled Natsume. He somehow managed to look embarrassed at his failed Spectacular Jump as well as angry and pained.

"He doesn't deserve an ambulance," Youichi muttered. "He tried to kill me! And he _really_ needs to get over you."

"But he didn't hurt you in the end!" Mikan cried. "And he's hurt his leg..."

"I'll take him to the Academy later," said Persona, deciding that it would not be a good idea to lose his star Dangerous Ability pupil by having him killed by a madman with a broken leg. "You two should probably go."

"He would've done if he wasn't such an idiot and missed his landing!" yelled Youichi. This was rare. Youichi _never_ yelled, or even raised his voice above normal speaking levels.

"I can't believe this..." said Mikan.

"What? Your ex-boyfriend tried to murder me _again_?!"

"The first time wasn't murder!" cried Mikan.

"He provoked me into a fight! Which he was obviously intending to win!"

"Go away, both of you," said Persona, ushering them away. (He didn't want them to interfere with his Top Secret mission. They had already caused enough of a disruption.)

"Yo-chan, he's just in a lot of pain right now! And this is all my fault!"

Youichi stared at her. "How the frick is this all _your_ fault?!"

"I dumped him!" she wailed.

"So? He just has issues getting over it! He's the dysfunctional one, not you!"

"But... but... if I had just-"

"Mikan, shut up," Youichi said. He didn't want to go over this _again_. Seeing Natsume once a week would've been more than enough.

"Don't tell me to shut up!" shouted Mikan.

"Well, I am!"

Mikan opened her mouth as if to say something, but then appeared to change her mind. She closed it again. Then she said in a quieter tone, "What's wrong with you and I together?"

"You already said that before," Youichi muttered.

"We were fine before this we got into this place," she mused. "We need to get out."

"Or maybe it's seeing Persona and Natsume again."

"No, it was before that..."

"Let's get out of here first. Then we can argue and break up," said Youichi, determined not to stay another second in this part of town if he could help it. "D'you remember Persona's directions?"

Mikan didn't. Luckily Youichi could - after he searched around in his mind a bit - so they set off back to the Academy.

XXX

"We're not breaking up," said Mikan as the walls of the Academy rose up in front of them. She had been silent for quite some time, Youichi realised. That was a change.

"No," he said. "That was a stupid thing to say."

"I wonder if Persona's back yet? What time is it?"

"Nine thirty-six in the evening. Probably. 'Cos he probably didn't get lost five times," said Youichi. Funnily enough, he was feeling much more happy about things now that they were in sight of the Academy, even with the annoyance of having gotten lost five times. Home sweet home. Really... "I bet Natsume – Nattie – got back in the hospital _again_."

Mikan laughed, although her expression was worried.

"He'll be alright," said Youichi to reassure her (even though his brain was sincerely hoping that he wouldn't be alright).

"We'll be alright too," said Mikan to reassure him. "That part of town really was creepy and weird, like you said!"

"I'm late for sign-in," said Youichi, realising that 9:36pm really was six minutes later than 9:30pm.

"See you next weekend?" said Mikan, smiling.

"See you," said Youichi.

Mikan kissed him, and then Youichi had to go inside because they were outside the gates. He waved goodbye, and she beamed.

XXX

_A/N: Prompts:  
~ Either YouichixMikan or PersonaxMikan  
~ "No I don't want a carrot!!"  
~ "Can you repeat that statement so I can argue?"  
~ "What's wrong with you and I together?"  
~ Someone jumping off a building with a knife on their hand  
~ A drug dealer lurking around the main character_

_I am so tired. And this oneshot has taken me two whole weeks to do. YES I AM USELESS._

_I have one more challenge ficcy from Suivre to do, a Tono/Rui oneshot and then my Epic NaruMisaki Fic Of Awesome. And then I will probably not be writing fanfiction for quite some time (i.e. two weeks – seriously, though, probably a few months)._

_Please please please if you have ANY ideas whatsoever for Tono/Rui or Naru/Misaki or ANY scenes, plotlines and events of a NaruMisaki-ish nature that you want to see, PM me. Thank you for your time!_


End file.
